SlutWalk 2012 - The Messy Issue of Consent

Content and language warning.

I recently came across this post regarding Melbourne SlutWalk 2012 from a friend on facebook:

"SlutWalk: I have no desire to "reclaim the word" but like many women I have had liberties taken with my person and am no stranger to coercion, violence, victim-blaming, shame, silence. I'm marching on Saturday. You should too."

This got me thinking about sexual assault and sexual violence and the attitudes with which it is perpetrated in our society.

I have often been asked what attracts me to the fetish scene and in part I think it is the black and white notions of consent within the community at large.  I am not saying sexual violence isn't perpetrated in the community that would be a ridiculously naive assertion, however, because of the risks inherent in some kinds of play consent is a very serious issue.  Consent is given in an unequivocal way prior to any play commencing. This is a great way of heading off the old epigram that 'all sex is rape until proven otherwise'.

I have attended fetish events across two continents and they are the safest I have ever felt on a night out.  I would not think twice about entering a fetish event by myself, would I do that in an ordinary club? No way.

The rules at Hellfire in Sydney very quickly illustrate why this is the case:

"Top 6 Ways to Ruin Your Night at Hellfire
1) Touch anyone without express permission and we throw you out.
2) Insult anyone about their appearance or kink and we throw you out. This is a place that celebrates all ages, shapes, sizes and sexualities.
3) If you’re a guy DON’T HIT ON WOMEN. Let them approach you. Many women are lesbians. Many are not interested. If we get complaints about men being too predatory, we throw you out." (This rule works in reverse too)

These are only the first three rules at Hellfire (and there are close variations at every event I've ever been to) but boy do they make a difference, of all the various events I have attended, fetish and otherwise, it is only at fetish events that I have never had someone try and take liberties with me. An incident  at the London event 'Subversion' illustrates this better than I think anything else could;

On this particular night I was recovering from a cold and my corset was too tight, combined with the heat from the playroom I soon began to feel quite unwell.  My boyfriend who was with me steered me out into the bar area and while I was cooling off he went to fetch me a drink.  Moments later I was half passed out on a bench from heat and constriction.
Dangerous?  In a regular club certainly, I would have been lucky to come out unfondled.  At this event I was shaken awake by a transexual I'd met earlier in the night.  She sat with me until she was sure I was going to be fit to get to the bathroom and loosen my corset.  She also went to the bar to let my boyfriend know where I'd gone when I raced off to the bathroom to unlace my corset.
In a regular club I would have left as soon as I began to feel compromised, whether from heat, alcohol or illness.  At this event I was not only did I not feel the need to escape I was looked after by a total stranger.

Futhermore, to de-bunk the slut-shaming mythology of 'dressed for consent' as a general rule I have far less on at these events than I do on a regular night out.  It doesn't matter, if consent is not expressly given; hands off.

Conversely, nearly everytime I have been out to a 'regular' nightclub I have had to fend off unwelcome advances, often physical, often more than once, from people (usually men) who seem to think my mere presence in a nightclub is an act of consent.  This is a dangerous attitude and one that I find deeply disturbing. 

During my first year at university I read an amazing book 'How Dangerous Men Think: and how to stay safe for life' the mentalities detailed in this book of men who were being prosecuted for 'date rape' (in itself a loaded term) seem alarmingly prevalent in people who make repeated, unwelcome, physical advances in nightclubs.

Recently on a night out I was assaulted standing in an audience.  I am going to continue using the term assaulted despite the fact the act could also be termed 'tickling', it was unwlecome and perpetrated on my person without consent, as such it is still an assault.

I was watching a friend on mine perform in Drag Idol, I was in a well known gay bar and as such I'd made a not entirely unreasonable assumption that I'd be safe from unwelcome male advances for the most part.  I was also in a large group of women, the majority of us giving off decidely uninterested signals.  All was going well and we were being left alone.
Then the show started, we headed down into the audience to watch.  I felt something brush my leg, it happens in a crowd, I brushed my hand over the back of my leg to let whoever it was know I'd felt it and they might like to back off a little.  It happened again.  Now I was getting annoyed, this time I swatted whoever it was and heard someone behind behind me say 'Ow'.
You'd think that would be the end of it, clearly consent was not given, but no.  It happened again, this time the assualt was a 'tickling' gesture at the top of my thigh as the bloke behind me tried to slide his finger up the back of my shorts.
That was it, I turned on the guy behind me and put my fist under his nose, he was grinning at me, I felt violated.  How dare this person conside that they could take advantage of the closeness and anonymity of the crowd to 'cop a feel' (yet another term for sexual assault).  I believe I said something along the lines of Don't touch me again'. Quite clearly I was upset, his response?  He laughed.  How ever I am not a shinking violet, I leant in closer and followed up with 'I'm not kidding, you come near me again and I'll break your f*cking fingers'.  Now he backs off.
I'm sure his justification was some purile version of 'she was dressed for it' but I don't care.  I was dressed for myself, not for him or anyone else.  Short shorts, tight jeans, skirts, fishnets etc DO NOT equal consent, EVER.

This was a minor incident, yes, but what worries me is the plethora of people out there who don't recognise these behaviours for what they are.  An insidious assault on another person, intiating contact with another person after it has been made clear that, that contact is unwelcome, or more worryingly treating it like a joke, something to be laughed off. Anyone who laughs after perpetrating a sexual assault scares me.

I knew I would do it... eventually... Part 1

So I've been telling myself that I'll make my own ostrich feather fans, to this end I have had a pound of ostrich feathers and 50 plastic staves in my backroom for... a long time.  The box is very unwieldy and it takes up alot of space.

I'd been telling myself I needed to borrow someone else's fan before I go at this project bull at a gate as I didn't want to damage the feathers, after all I only have a pound of them.  I've been telling myself this for months and yesterday I thought 'what the hell there is a 'how to...' for just about everything on YouTube let's give it a go' and I found the video below from Frou Frou Feathers.

I thought, well, that doesn't seem so hard so I went home, dragged out my feathers and my toolbox and set to work.

My initial plan was to overlay peacock feathers on the ostrich feathers, this didn't go so well.  Peacock eyes are tail feathers, so they're straight.  My ostrich feathers are wing plumes so they're curved.  I'm sure you see the problem that emerged, the peacock eyes stuck out all all kind of odd angles, not good.  So I scrapped that plan and I'm now planning on overlaying the eyes on the base of the fan later with araldite.  Hopefully that is slightly more successful.

So now we move on to the spectacular mess of blue feathers my loungeroom/kitchen has become.  I did vacuum up the majority of the feathers, I also spent a fair chunk of time chasing my dog (who seemed to think as always that this project was entirely for her benefit) around the loungeroom as she stole feathers, staves, wire, scissors and anything else she clamp her teeth around!  However, finally I have 12 completed staves, one whole fan... in bits...

12 feathered fan staves, now to bind them together

Next step off to Bunnings for bolts and washers!

Mondayits Cabaret: Secret Lives - Lessons Learnt

In the lead up to August 13th and my first Mondayitis show as Production Manager.   I thought I would put together a little lessons learnt for future reference.  I'm sure I will have more to say on the subject on Tuesday!

So when producing a cabaret/variety night.

DO -

• Set a theme, it makes pulling together performaces and programming the night that much easier.
• Get all your paperwork ready well in advance, this will save anxiety later.  It includes but is not limited performer information, photography rights/model release forms.
• Go to the venue beforehand.  Soundchecks, orientation etc are much better done well before show day when you will have a million other things on your mind.
• Engage professional photographers for the show, their photographs will be a million times better than you think!
• Figure out what licences you need early, some licences take up to eight weeks to process!
• Get yourself a good team, stage and technical crew will be your lifeline if something goes wrong, it pays to have people in that box you trust!
• Make sure you know what your venue capacity is!  This is a fire and safety concern, if you overload your venue there's a good chance they won't have you back.
• Cultivate a good relationship with your venue after all without them you'd be holding your show in your loungeroom, much less exciting.
• Make sure your costume is sorted out well in advance if you are planning to perform, satying up till 3am the night before sewing on sequins isn't good for anyone's complexion.

DON'T -

• Make your theme to narrow, it make getting performances to fit difficult.
• Expect that everyone will be as keen to do their paperwork as you are, we all have busy lives and you may need to exercise your production klout to get it done.
• Get upset if people can't make orientaiton/soundcheck etc, life gets in the way, the show will go on.
• Just assume the venue will be happy for you to do things, for example many venues have 'no glitter' policies (it's a nightmare to clean up).
• Forget you crew need a break too, try and make sure no-one has to work too long at any one thing, this is meant to be fun.
• Forget to deduct you perfromers/reviewers/complimentary ticket holders from the amount of tickets you can sell!  Just because they haven't paid doesn't mean they don't count towards capacity!

As I said I'm sure there will be more to add come Tuesday but right now I'm just really looking forward Monday night, It should be a great show, I'll share some of the photographs on here as well.

Review - GIO Seconds - Point Heel Fully Fashioned Stockings

Those who know me know that I have recently come to a love of all things vintage. As I get older I'm gradually progressing through the ages, from a fascination with medieval fashions in high-school I've finally reached the 1940s and 50s.   Possibly before I die I might just catch up with fashion, however for the moment I am very happy in my 'make do and mend' phase.

I have recently been accepted as a hosiery reviewer for Sweet Pins (www.sweetpins.com.au) this is very exciting for me because I have always had an interest (read: obsession) in hosiery, lingerie and all manner of delightful frippery.  So without any further ado, a review.

Item: Gio' Seconds - Point Heel Fully Fashioned Stockings (size 10.5)

My initial impression was a little sad, this was due to their packaging.  As a long time lover of Leona Edminston's hosiery I have been spoilt for packaging, accostomed to gently unwrapping these delicate pieces of indulgence from their tissue-paper shroud with my little cotton gloves (yes I have hosiery gloves they are a must if you have nails) has become a ritual I promise myself on bad days. The Gios came unmarked wrapped in plastic, but once opened they were a joy to unfurl, as nylon has no strech the stockings are as long as your legs (which in my case is considerable).

The stockings themselves are beautiful, soft with a beautiful satin sheen and whatever imperfection they may have you certainly have to hunt for; I found one on my black pair but haven't been able to locate one on my skin tone pair. Being truthful I'm not really looking if it doesn't leap out at me I anticipate it won't leap out at anyone else. 

Wearing these stockings is a joy, they are smooth, light and as they are fully fashioned and have no strech there is no longer the constant battle to keep them up.  I've worn them with a girdle and my trusty 8-strap suspender belt and my recommendation would be the suspender belt. This is simply because I found the girdle held the stocking just that little bit too low, in contract the suspender belt offers the full range of adjustment which meant I was able to get the fit just right.

The other aspect of these stockings that has me over then moon with joy is the sizing, I'm tall and I have big feet.  This means that buying stockings can be a chore, even the ones that claim to fit me often wind up dragging down two sit the gusset somewhere around my knees, very attractive and comfortable.  Because Gio fully fashioned stockings are 100% nylon they have no strech in them (as I previously mentioned) this means they have to make them in more than S/M, M/Tall and Tall/X-Tall (I'm not sure who decided that X-Tall is 5'11" another fashion industry conundrum) the upside of this is it is easy to find a pair of Gio stocking to fit just about anyone!

I've been wearing these stockings all day and they haven't fallen down, laddered or disappointed me in anyway.  The lack of stretch takes some getting used to, instead of hugging your legs like a demanding child like more modern stockings do nylons instead shift over your legs as you walk in a sort of caress, more like a lover with very soft hands.

I am definitely a convert to what Ms Von Teese calls 'the lovely rasp of nylon'.  If you're thinking about trying fully fashioned stockings do try these and becasue they're slightly less than perfect (like the rest of us) they're so much cheaper you needn't feel bad about the indulgence.

Review - ALEV Truthful and Twisted

As part of Canberra's burlesque community I do what I can to get out and support the burlesques and fringe nights that are popping up around town. I think Canberra is an exciting city to be in at the moment; it's right on the cusp of growing up into a genuinely cosmopolitan little city.

Thursday the 26th of August saw Kremlin Bar and Tapas host another of the fringe nights that have been popping up in and around Canberra recently.  ‘ALEV Truthful and Twisted’ was hosted by glamourous local drag queen Tammy Paks and programmed by local burlesque performer Seker Paré.

Thursday’s show started out with a minor technical hitch but once sorted it kicked off with a best dressed award from Tammy Paks and personal story in song.  As always Tammy walked the border between hilarity and crudity with grace, only occaisionally dipping a perfectly manicured toe into the waters of vulgarity.  Her tampon giveaways are now becoming surprisingly competitive (The first time I’ve seen a woman so disapointed over a box of tampons).

This time ALEV featured Majura the magician, whose cheeky hypnotism and parlour magic kept everyone laughing and guessing.  After proving that he could read minds and producing anatomically correct foam representations from out of the hands of unsuspecting audience members, he produced a tampon from his ear (at Tammy’s request of course). Throughout his performance he kept the audience engaged with inappropriate jokes and participation and long afterwards as he wandered during the breaks with a weasel who was alternately friendly and aggressive depending on what afforded the best view!

Burlesque performances by Saphire Bluebird and Seker Paré ensured there was more than a little of the risque about the night, from the grace of burlesque en pointe to a rockin’ little number to Right Said Fred’s ‘I’m Too Sexy’.  Saphire Bluebird’s en pointe burlesque was a cheeky take on classical dance, nicely subverting expectations without loosing any of the grace and poise it was lovingly making fun of.  In contrast when Seker Paré and Tammy Paks took to the stage to ‘I’m Too Sexy’ glamour was not on the cards, instead it was a rockin’ duet strip that had the audience clapping their hands and laughing along.

The musical stylings of Cuddlefish and Jonathon Davis were well received. In particular the semi-satirical songs of Cuddlefish which were thought provoking and humourous at the same time.  Tucked away in a corner the duo played and sang out of the darkness which only increased the intimate atmosphere.  Jonathon Davis started out with both kinds of music, Country and Western.  The soulful ballad a perfect match for his voice if incongrous with his appearance.  In his second appearance he threw the western songbook out the window in favour of fabulous redition of Rocky Horror’s ‘Sweet Transvestite’ which had the audience cheering and singing along in moments.

Apart from running just a tiny bit late for a school night ALEV was a fantastic night, the Kremlin bar’s cocktails were delicious as always and the audience all had a thoroughly good time.  I for one can’t wait for the next event, apparently it will be just in time for Halloween!

If yout want information on future shows check out their facebook page. http://www.facebook.com/pages/ALEV

Diving into the blogosphere

Well, I'm making a foray into the blogosphere, we'll see if I have anything interesting to say about anything in the coming months.

This blog is likely to become a repository for information about producing Mondayitis Cabaret, recipes, working on burlesque routines and costumes among other things.  Occaisionally I might torture you with something a little more deepful and meaningless.

For now I will simply say hello.